Defining Moments for Successful Adulthood

The earth, wind, fire, sea and the sky create balance and harmony.  I came to understand how the water, wind and the sun uplifted my spirits during a golf game or while sitting on the patio having a Summer Shandy. I became a student of the elements around me after a ruptured Achilles in 2009. I had a chance to sit still for a while and learn to appreciate these things as an adult. Being a new adult learner was different at first. 

 After getting over the frustration of “learning how to learn” I was good to go. My injury had left me learning how to walk all over again at 27 years old. Golf gave me a chance to be competitive and strengthen my mind in a chaotic arena. Little did I know I had discovered a different person behind these newfound thoughts and activities.

On our honeymoon, I had the chance to see how the water can help you overcome fears of drowning and loosing control of your general direction in life. We had the option to participate in all kinds of activities on the resort.  You could take tennis lessons, salsa dancing classes, Jamaican cooking lessons, and many other activities. 

We managed to make it out for a few things here and there but we will definitely look to do more on our next trip. The glass bottom boat tour, catamaran boat cruises out to Rick’s Café, professional music entertainment, it all kept the rhythm moving. We had our eye on some water sports activities and decided on snorkeling and maybe one other activity if we had time.

I was excited about snorkeling even though I'm not a strong swimmer. I had my first set of swim lessons two years ago on our family trip to Kim’s aunts house near Pittsburgh, PA. We get to enjoy Lonnie's pool in the fresh air of the Pennsylvania countryside. Its a nice get away spot. Lonnie's partner, Jen, volunteered to give me swim lessons on our visit so I took advantage.

 I got the chance to learn a few techniques and managed to see great results in just a few days work. Even though I haven't done much swimming since, I still looked forward to the challenge of snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea. 

Being out in the middle of the ocean brought a little tension to my body so it was difficult at first. My mind was trying to relax but my body did not want any part of the activity. My mind had no fears at all but the fight within me was doing its best to make me get back in the boat. I was having no parts of that. 


The adrenaline rush I got from standing up to a childhood fear of water was so satisfying after it was over.  However, I lost most all ability to be present in that particular moment. 
The fear only comes from not knowing what exactly is happening at that given moment. You know what they say… We always fear what we don’t understand. 

As I get older that saying couldn’t been more real, so now I try to educate myself on the issue before I cast it away as blaspheme. Relationships are too precious to lose over simple misunderstandings.

I've been reading The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. A book by Eckhart Tolle. The book is intended to be a self-help guide for day-to-day living and stresses the importance of living in the present moment and avoiding thoughts of the past or future. To that day I had been enjoying my new state of mind the techniques in the book had granted me. I had found a way to channel and deflect many of the stresses that daily life can bring.

So, back to how this relates to my snorkeling experience. We are out in the water and my mind and body are fighting to no end. My only clear thought the entire time was "Stay in the water the entire 30 minutes, try to breath and see a few reefs while your here the first time.” With the help of some other experienced divers in our group and my beautiful wife, I managed to slow my body down enough to make it through the dive and have some fun.

Kim looked at me like I was dying but I was just at war with myself on the inside. She said she felt anxious because she couldn’t help me but I told her the battle she saw me having normally happens within. I’m not a hyperventilate type person. The ice in my veins just won’t allow it.

In the end, not much has changed. I am still my greatest enemy. Like Lupe Fiasco says "My greatest Enemy is my inner Me". That statement rings so true for me. The only fight I need to try and win is the one inside me. 

If I can continue to win the battles for integrity, honesty, good health and wellness, intimacy, commitment and all of the other things that plague our relationships, then I can continue my life’s journey with a clean conscious. My behaviors as an adult need consistent attention and if I allow moments of fight or flight to conquer me then it is my own excuse for getting in my own way.

The point is. If I lose concentration in life, moments like these will come and go and the lessons will fall by the wayside. If I had gotten back on the boat before it was time then my next encounter may have left be on the boat without the courage to get in at all.

 Even worse, it could rear its ugly head in the way of a big decision for my future like a job or some other risk I may have to take for my family. I encourage you to go out and do something you have been deathly afraid to do. 

Seek things that will give you the courage to conquer your inner demons. If you train you mind, body and spirit beyond what is expected, then you will always be ready to look fear in the face and win. 


-Quintin Parker


"We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face"
-Eleanor Roosevelt